Self-Doubt is a B*tch!

Since the start of this week I have been feeling very...less-than. So much so that not even my affirmations playlist could get me out. I was on cloud 9 when I came back from my birthday trip! Having just explored a new place on my own and had three interviews lined up for Monday morning. Needless to say, two weeks later without hearing much back, I'm in my head yet again. Lots of  "maybe customer service is your lane and all those years of college were in vain" and "are you really meant for the more you think you deserve?".

Just when I thought I knew that I'm not only enough, but extra af I still find myself asking the question... "am I enough?" when it comes to my career. I want to be proud of the work I do and passionate about the community I'm serving. And for me, that looks like being in a creative space not feeling bound by a typical 9-5 job.

As my friends all know I have been trying to fight my way to career success for a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG time. Real long. While I know that nothing happens overnight, it's frustrating to feel like your life isn't progressing the way you hoped. This unfortunately is why I'm sad to report that I'm back in another negative space and this time, I'm ashamed to admit it, but I'm struggling to even be happy for others success which is so not like me.

So in comes the "when will it happen for me?" question that comes up a lot. Speaking as a not so proud card carrying member of the Insecure Girls Club, I know full well how comparison is the thief of joy. And yet to tell someone to "stop comparing yourself to others" is easier said than done. Especially after years of doing so. While I keep pushin' through this unlearning journey I hope this is one habit I drop first or at least try to use the comparison as fuel to get there too.

Yes, this post was 1000% me venting and I hope when I get to the other side of this sadness I can report happier news about me doing some new activity or finally dropping the "my self worth is tied to my career" crap because there truly is more to life.

Well, that's all for now. Byeee!