Is there a support group for people who are an only child??
Being an only child is an interesting thing. As a child I embraced my space and time to create, sometimes longing for a sibling I was close in age with to talk about kid stuff. Being an only child as an adult is lonely....AF!
Over the last few weeks here it's been brought to my attention that due to being an only child I hold my relationships to my friends very seriously. So when I get ghosted (twice now) from a friend, or have a falling out with a friend, it hurts real bad.
I have always wished I had the type of personality to just go with the flow and leave people where they are, but instead I like to fight for something when I believe it's real. I have a very hard time wrapping my head around the idea of someone, who at one time claimed to be close to me, simply stopping all communications with me. Of course this also supports the idea that I have a fear of abandonment...so there's that.
While I've been processing my loneliness, I catch myself getting jealous of people who have both parents living, a family of their own, siblings to process emotions with, and people who have all that happening in their adulthood. Knowing they get to experience life with both parents while being a parent and even relating to their parents in a new way! I wish so much to have that and know that I can't. Instead, I've been overcompensating for my lack of immediate family by showing up for people who probably didn't deserve it. Making myself available for people who wouldn't, or don't, do the same for me (Introspection is something ain't it?).
Life is hard sometimes and can get chaotic. Due to that a lot of time priorities are shifted. When I realized I stopped being that for the people I believed were close to me well, there goes the feels. I felt all the things but mostly resentment and guilt because I knew these people are probably already stretched thin. But how can I offer support from a distance? Do I even really know them fr??
Over the last few weeks here it's been brought to my attention that due to being an only child I hold my relationships to my friends very seriously. So when I get ghosted (twice now) from a friend, or have a falling out with a friend, it hurts real bad.
I have always wished I had the type of personality to just go with the flow and leave people where they are, but instead I like to fight for something when I believe it's real. I have a very hard time wrapping my head around the idea of someone, who at one time claimed to be close to me, simply stopping all communications with me. Of course this also supports the idea that I have a fear of abandonment...so there's that.
While I've been processing my loneliness, I catch myself getting jealous of people who have both parents living, a family of their own, siblings to process emotions with, and people who have all that happening in their adulthood. Knowing they get to experience life with both parents while being a parent and even relating to their parents in a new way! I wish so much to have that and know that I can't. Instead, I've been overcompensating for my lack of immediate family by showing up for people who probably didn't deserve it. Making myself available for people who wouldn't, or don't, do the same for me (Introspection is something ain't it?).
Life is hard sometimes and can get chaotic. Due to that a lot of time priorities are shifted. When I realized I stopped being that for the people I believed were close to me well, there goes the feels. I felt all the things but mostly resentment and guilt because I knew these people are probably already stretched thin. But how can I offer support from a distance? Do I even really know them fr??
What sucks, but kind of brings me comfort, is knowing I'm not alone in feeling alone. Most people in their 20's and 30's are having a hard time creating community in person. Especially after the pandemic. What I'd like is that old thing back from the 90's and 2000's when it was encouraged to frequent "Third spots". We don't have that now and the ones that masks themselves as that ain't nothing but a grass wall and some expensive drinks. I hope I can look back on this post one day when I have a community I intentionally welcomed into my life and/or a family of my own!
Well, that's all for now...byeee!
Comments
Post a Comment