What Binging RHOSLC Taught Me About Adult Friendships.

For the last 2 and a halfish months, I've been binging 3 seasons of Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. I've learned more about being a Mormon in these last few months than ever in my life. Heather Gay, Mary Cosby and Lisa Barlow have given me perspective on a lot of other things too, but it's Jen Shah whose the "star" in this franchise here. See, Jen is currently in prison serving 5.5 years for scamming elderly people and she's married to a black Muslim who was a lawyer and now works as a college football coach. Jen is the most emotionally driven person on any housewives franchise I've seen (at the ones I've watched). And while I'm not qualified to diagnose anyone, I still feel like Jen may be a smidge bi-polar.

Friendships can be messy.

Since I already started with Jen, let's keep going. Jen gave someone who she calls a good friend a black eye. This was during a drunken night and nothing was ever really clarified on HOW she did, but she did it. And the person she punched (I don't do spoilers baby) continued being a friend to her until the day she was locked up. 

In another instance for this topic, Ms. Lisa Barlow, the best modern day Mormon there was, in an angry rant called her friend a "garbage trash whore" who slept with almost all of New York". It took a season and some change, but even the friend that Lisa was talking about forgave her and they're working toward having a better relationship with each other.

Friendships require vulnerability (and communication).

Meredith Marks, a housewife with a jewelry business, went through A LOT during these 3 seasons. Separating from her husband, falling out with one friend who spoke poorly about her child, losing a parent, supporting a family member who had a mental health crisis just to name a few. But while Meredith was going through this she distanced herself from certain people in her friend group and only let 1 or 2 of them in for real. Most didn't even know she was going through some of these things because she kept it to herself.

My thing here is, how can you expect someone to be a friend if you don't let them in your life to support you through these moments? I've said it before and Imma say it again. Friendship is just like a romantic relationship that it requires communication. Even if you don't want to say exactly what's gong on in that moment to at least let your friend know its a hard time and their support is appreciated or whatever may help you go through whatever and give that person an opportunity to be there for you.

Friendships can be important even when you're wearing multiple hats.

Whitney Rose, the youngest housewife on this franchise, started out as just that. A housewife. Then around season 2 she started the relaunch of her brand Wild Rose Beauty. Still being a mom, wife, supporting a dad who had an addiction and going through her own healing journey from childhood traumas Whitney STILL made time for the people who supported her through all those milestones. Whether it was going to a church service that one housewife led, comforting another housewife who was really emotional thinking about their future, and even singing in a choir for one she wasn't even cool with like that. One thing I love about Whitney is she gon show up!

Friendships can end.

Mary Cosby, the lone Black housewife who married her grandmothers husband, is the one example I can use here as Mary has stayed ten toes on not putting up with fakeness on each season she's been on. When one housewife approached Mary to get to some kind of resolve in their relationship and invited Mary to a restaurant, Mary actually entertained the idea. But when she got there and the other housewife started letting the choppa sing on her grievances, Mary wasn't having it. She quickly let the person know she did not come her for "all this" and when the housewife asked her to stay Mary said "watch me leave!...but not without my food."She then asked the waiter if she could get her food to go and actually sat at the table until her food came (in silence I think).

Another time Mary skipped the reunion because she didn't feel supported by the cast. If the spirit don't move Mary to be around you, she will avoid you. And that's her business.


Even though I know that this is a show that's centered around friendship which also creates forced interactions and trips, it's nice to see a group of adult women who seem to genuinely care for each other and want to grow together. I wish this for myself but in a healthy way and I will have it.

Welp, that's all for now...byeee!