During Black History Month?!

 Well, yes.

I'm back! The month of January is always an interesting reset for me as we're all coming off of the holidays and prepping for the upcoming year, but for me, I'm reflecting and getting ready my *personal* new year--my birthday! So February for me, is when it's actually new year! This year my birthday also happens to fall on Chinese New Year which I feel is super special. I'll get into that more on my birthday though.

For today's post I'll be using it as a catch up as to what's been going on with me some changes coming with this blog.

Since the start of this new decade, at the start of every year I try to choose a word that represents what I want my year to be. 2023 was Create, 2022 was Intention, 2021 was Abundance, and 2020 I believe was (Ask) Big! This year my word is Pleasure. Pleasure in all aspects of my life. I feel like for so long I haven't been operating in this space and well, I'm tryna see what that be like. Since November/December I have been trying to figure out how to make myself happy. I've been feeling extremely lonely these last few months and knowing my relationships are no longer what they once were means I have to find ways to get back to ME! 

I even recognized at my job that while I've changed my personality from introvert to extravert, that I've been complaining a lot or somehow behaving in ways that has my manager speaking about me in a not-so-kind way which makes me wonder if it's a microaggression or if this is actually how I come across. So I want to change that. Unfortunately I think the only way to do that is to get out of this job. It's just not fulfilling work to me. Yes, I get to explain retirement plans in a way that makes sense to people reaching or at retirement age, but talking to people all day plus having an hour and a half commute 3 days a week when you can 100% do this from the house really sucks ass to me. It also doesn't allow me to be creative, which is something I realized last year that I needed in order to feel like I was doing something productive or joyful in my life. 

However it ALWAYS takes me SO LONG to get an interview or to get past the applying step. I STILL am working on my Google spread sheet I started in 2018 to apply to jobs. That's 6 years of trying to just get my foot in the door for a marketing role. It's sad for a few reasons. 1- the fact it takes you jumping through 1425364758864364 hoops just to get an interview and 2- the conversation around securing a job that's not a "safe" one (teacher, nurse, lawyer, etc.) is just so unrealistic now. How are so many places hiring, but no one is qualified? MOST JOBS ARE TEACHABLE so how is it that none want to take a chance? I'm frustrated.

Another way I hope to put action behind the word I've chosen for this year is to put myself in uncomfortable situations in terms of going out by myself and doing things on my own. While I still think some things are more fun when done with a person, I can't meet my man or a community of girlfriends who will love in a way I need without putting myself out there. So more outside activities otw!

This may be as far as I've thought with this, but I can't wait to see the ways I invite pleasure into my life this year. 

As far as changes to this blog, baby the 2 day posting schedule no longer works for me, so from here on out please expect a weekly post on Friday of a summary of my week, new show or movie I saw or just a topic that's been on my mind. I seemed to have gained all the weight back that I lost so now I'm trying to create a schedule to get back on track. Next week is my birthday so that post may be delayed Imma be honest but after that, every Friday your girl is back. 

Thank you for your patience and support! Well, that's all for now. Byeee!