Staying Busy.

 

I have been a busy girl these past few days with to-do lists, store runs, and being in my DIY bag. I realized recently when talking with a friend that staying busy is a way I operate, or cope, when I want to avoid something else. I did it when my dad passed, and I'm doing it now with my job situation. It's easy to focus on other things when you know what you don't want to deal with will still be waiting for you.

Picture it, summer of 2009 in a small town in Florida. I laid in my childhood room after successfully completely my first year of college and then 2 weeks later, losing my father. Now one would think I would've asked for help to process my emotions, but instead I cleaned a lot and binged tv shows I missed out on while in school. Two in particular that I can think of were The Game and Everybody Hates Chris. I hid my sadness by finding other emotions from characters on TV. Laughing when Rochelle asked Julius to hold her wig because she was about to beat the babysitter's ass and then being 38 hot when Derwin cheated on Girl Melanie with Drew Sidora.

Following this total blur of a summer, I went back to college when I had absolutely no business doing so. I didn't have the support I needed to really do well and be well, but I kept busy with school because I was running away from the place that took my family. Even worse, I didn't do well my second year of college because I tried taking classes that summer to increase my GPA (so I could pledge...it didn't work though).

And now in the midst of my no-job-finances-are-skimp journey, I find myself keeping busy with crafting. I've always been a DIY girl and it makes me happy to see something I've made either for myself or a loved one. So I'm out here making giant flowers, welcome signs, and centerpieces because my Goddaughter is turning one soon! Did I volunteer myself to do these things? Sure did. It's better to keep busy doing something that makes me happy than to dwell on what I'm lacking career-wise. At least that's what I tell myself, but isn't it crazy how everything goes back to my self-worth in my career? LOL a mess.

So I say all this to say, one day I'm going to proactively handle things in an appropriate manner and I look forward to that day because I know I'll have peace of mind sooner.

Well that's all for now. Byeee!