It Ain't Nun to Cut that Bih Off.

 This past year I've found myself consistently thinking about the people I call my close friends, why I keep them around, the way I try to nurture our relationship, and getting a feel for how my friends feel as well. So far I've learned that I have a problem with cutting people off who I deem close to me. Instead I simply stop talking to them. 

Earlier this year I wrote about being made aware to a certain friend and the countless times they embarrassed me in a public way, made me feel less than, and of most recently didn't show up for me when I needed them to and that was even after speaking to them about how I'd been feeling. I did have a conversation with them earlier this year when I realized I can't feel a way about someone when I never really was direct about my expectations in the first place. However, with this friend they had a history of diminishing things to make them seem not as big as you think they are and pretty much brushing past things.

I'm a firm believer in finding people who get you. People who you don't have to explain yourself to. People who will listen for understanding instead of response even when they don't agree. So when you have the emotionally charged friend initiating a conversation with a friend who is more logical thinking well...the conversation may not bring the results either is hoping for.

I recently saw this video of Ashley Chea (aka Watermeloneggrolls on IG) talking about expectations in her marriage, but I resonated with it since it's something that can be applied to any relationship! She said "when you expect something out of someone that they can't give you, you stop appreciating them". Naturally, this gagged me. Was I expecting something from my friend I knew they weren't capable of giving me and possibly sabotaging the relationship? Well, this my friends is where I welcome back my "living in the in-between".  And of course it didn't help that this year I was also studying my ass off to secure a job and was unavailable for fourth months straight.

I say all this to say, or ask rather, what are some things you've cut a friend off for? Is it something small? Let me know girl, because I know that while I'm over here contemplating they probably aren't even thinking about me.